Kamal Ghorui
Marriages do not always end because of infidelity. Two people can be absolutely in love, and yet choose not to stay together. Relationships do not crumble overnight. They often happen quietly. Small things that get overlooked can affect your marriage. James J. Sexton, a prominent New York-based divorce attorney who has seen marriages fall apart in his office, has seen a simple habit save marriages. What is it? Let’s take a look.
Simple strategy: Walk and talk
According to the divorce attorney, there is a simple habit that can fix almost any marriage. “I’ve seen some couples that have made a practice, they call it a walk-and-talk,” he said in a podcast with Codie Sanchez. So what is a walk and talk? It is pretty much self-explanatory. You take a long walk with your partner once a week. You go for a walk and talk it out. Here’s the catch. The walk has an agenda. This simple trick can really save most marriages, according to Sexton. He has seen it work wonders.
Walk, and list three things about your partner
The walk wasn’t about venting worries. It was rather about fixing what’s broken. The walk included 20-30 minutes of honest conversation. Not rushed or thought out. But a safe space where you can talk your heart out. Now comes the important part. During the conversation, each partner shares three things the other did that week that made them feel loved, valued, or seen. They also mention one or two things their partner could have done differently, or actions that made them feel unloved or neglected. “And I think if you can’t come up with three things your spouse did this week that made you feel loved, that’s a problem in and of itself,” the lawyer said.
Why this is an effective strategy
Saving a marriage is not about turning a blind eye. It is about figuring out what went wrong and trying to fix it. The walk and talk practice does exactly that. This simple ritual takes away ambiguity. It is always good to know what your partner thinks, rather than assuming it. For couples sensing distance creeping into their relationships, this weekly ritual offers a good starting point. Here, there is no criticism. You are expressing your thoughts and feelings. You are telling your partner what you loved and what broke your heart. It’s not blame, but honesty.
