Kamal Ghorui
There are times when being the “soft” parent feels anything but easy. But, does hitting a child ever lead to a solution? In this highly debated discussion, author Durjoy Datta recently added an introspective take on everyday choices parents make.The ‘Wish I Could Tell You’ author reflected on such choices, as he traced his own journey from being a child once to raising his own children.
Durjoy Dutta recalls his days as a child
In a recent clip shared by Durjoy on Instagram, the author and father of two reminisces about his days as a kid and how getting hit by parents and teachers was common. He recalls getting “thappads” (slaps) from random PT teachers or his math teacher. However, the author then offers a deeper perspective, saying teachers used to hit us because they were practically “venting” and “we were the victims.”
Durjoy Datta’s little kid’s wise words
Later in the clip, Durjoy asks his eldest daughter Rayna a simple yet loaded question: “Is there any reason big enough for me to hit you?” Little Rayna instantly says “No.”When her father gently asks her “why?” Rayna’s response reflects Durjoy’s parenting. “…because when an adult hits the kid… the kid likes to hit… and then it does the same thing when he grows up… and the earth becomes all hitting and stuff…”The child’s response is simple, yet it reflects a profound understanding of learned behaviour. Rayna’s words imply how hitting a child can create an endless cycle. Just because we as parents went through it, doesn’t mean our child should go through the same.
‘What they win is not for me’: A new parenting lens
Durjoy Dutta also points out how times have changed. While earlier it was common to use physical punishment, Datta says “thankfully teachers aren’t allowed to hit now and we (parents) don’t allow ourselves to do so.Reflecting on the subtle but powerful mindset, Durjoy believes children today are not obligated to live up to their parents’ expectations or make them proud in conventional ways. “What they win is not for me,” he says.At its core, Durjoy Dutta’s message is simple; instead of being fixated only on outcomes, why not focus on the experience of growing alongside your child?As parents we should always remember it’s not just about raising well-behaved children, but emotionally secure individuals who don’t carry forward cycles of fear.What’s your take on the discussion? Share your thoughts with us!
