Kamal Ghorui
The UK version of Saturday Night Live opened its debut episode with a political cold open in classic style, imagining Prime Minister Keir Starmer awkwardly trying to tell US President Donald Trump that Britain wouldn’t join a war in Iran.Played by a well-disguised George Fouracres, Starmer nervously sat at his desk, a framed photo of Trump behind him, as a dial tone rang. “Oh, golly! What if Donald shouts at me? What do I say?” he said to an adviser played by Hammed Animashaun. “Just be yourself, prime minister! Yourself is who everyone likes.”Trump answered the phone with a blunt “hello” and Starmer immediately hung up, lamenting: “Oh, sod that scary, scary wonderful president. Why is he so bloomin’ difficult to talk to?”Starmer talked to his adviser as if Trump was his toxic ex. “I just want to keep him happy. You don’t understand him like I do. I can change him!” he said as quoted by Variety.The meeting was then interrupted by Starmer’s new Gen Z adviser, played by Jack Shep, who called him “Starmzy,” a play on the U.K. rapper Stormzy. The Gen Z adviser said he was fit for the job because “I’m an expert in messy drama, I’ve been in three throuples and I’m currently gay.”The Gen Z adviser told Starmer that instead of breaking up with Trump on the phone, he should send him a voice note. Starmer replied: “I’ll try anything, I’ll do anything. Except take a stand.”“Hi, Donald. I’m afraid I can’t go to war with you, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be chums,” Starmer said with a worried expression on his face. “America and Britain have a long, proud tradition of cooperation and nothing can take that away. Remember the good times. Remember D-Day? Remember Live Aid? Remember Iraq? The first week and none of the rest. Remember Helen Baxterdale on ‘Friends’? Remember Hugh Laurie on ‘Friends’? Remember the episode of ‘Friends’ where they all came to London?”He continued: “But most importantly, remember the one where Ross and Rachel were on a break? I think that’s perhaps what we need. Not forever, just until you’ve got all this war out of your system. We want different things. I know how badly you want to start World War III, and that’s great. You absolutely do that but we can’t be part of it. You can, however, use the naval bases whenever you want.”Starmer’s adviser then congratulated him, saying: “Good work, sir. You did the bare minimum, and that’s all people expect from you.”Starmer replied in a breaking-the-fourth-wall moment: “It just goes to show, while we may not agree with everything America does, we can still be civil and embrace their wonderful, unproblematic culture.”Fouracres, Animashaun and Shep then gathered together to say the iconic words: “Live from London, it’s Saturday night!”
