Kamal Ghorui
If you look at your grandparents’ relationship and era, it seems there used to be a time when marriages lasted a lifetime. But let’s be real – today, it’s more like a tightrope walk over a divorce canyon. With modern relationships becoming complex and many marriages leading to divorce, love seems to have become disposable. Even small arguments over simple chores easily escalate to “irreconcilable” differences over time these days. Add to it work burnout and stress which leaves no time or energy for intimacy between couples. Kids, bills, screens – we drift, mistaking comfort for cage. But what if the fix to such marriage issues isn’t a new partner, but having a fresh perspective to the same issue? American journalist and author Mignon McLaughlin captures it beautifully in her simple yet profound quote, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” This isn’t a heartwarming quote, instead it is emotional wisdom for our fragile era. Here’s how it can not only save but also make your marriage last:Why love fades in marriagesRemember those early days of your relationship/ marriage – stolen glances and butterflies in the stomach? But, over time, life’s grind dulls them. He zones into his phone post-dinner; she resents the laundry pile he “forgot” or the responsibility of taking care of the kids. Resentment simmers unspoken. These days, “growing apart,” and quitting the marriage when spark dims has become the norm. But McLaughlin flips the script as she says that love is not a one-hit wonder; it’s a playlist on repeat. Without effort, familiarity turns enemy in marriages. Her tip -choose awe amid arguments.The emotional rollercoaster of rediscoveryImagine rediscovering your spouse like a favourite book – deeper with each read. Through her quote, McLaughlin emphasises on choosing to love your partner everyday of your marriage. It also means peeling their onion layers: See his quiet strength paying bills late-night; her fierce grace juggling mom-guilt and meetings. Choose to reconnect with each other after hectic days: Plan date nights, recreate awkward firsts, explore hidden cafes, or have a common hobby to work on. Remember, hearts heal through habitual wonder.In a world which is constantly chasing perfectionism and quick fixes, it’s easy for marriages to break down. But in order to keep them going, McLaughlin’s encourages one to keep rediscovering and loving the same partner every single day. Feelings fade, and so they need to be rekindled.What are your views on this? How do you keep the spark alive in your marriage? Tell us in the comment section below.
