Kamal Ghorui
Actor-dancer Nora Fatehi got candid about love, dating and gender dynamics in a recent chat, admitting that while she’s financially independent, she still desires emotional care and effort from a partner.When asked if she expects men to pay on dates, Nora told Lilly Singh, “I don’t need him to. I have my card, I can afford the dinner. But there is a feminine side of me… I would like to see him do that because then I would like him more.”She added, “It’s like a masculine thing where he’s like, ‘I got you.’”Opening up about her journey, Nora said, “I’ve been struggling since I was 16. I didn’t have a man to help me. I’ve done everything by myself. I still take care of my family, my friends—I’ve been the breadwinner for way too long.”She admitted that this has shaped her energy in relationships. “I feel like I’ve been in my masculine energy for too long. Recently, I’ve been trying to tap back into my feminine energy.”Explaining what she seeks now, she said, “I do need a man to step up a little bit so that I feel like a girl… I feel feminine, I feel wanted. I feel like someone is thinking about me, taking care of me—because I’ve been doing that for everyone all my life.”
‘Men say they want strong women—but do they really?’
Nora also addressed how her success impacts her dating life. “I’ve heard so many people say, ‘You’re intimidating, that’s why I didn’t approach you,’” she shared.Questioning modern dating dynamics, she added, “We live in a world where guys will say, ‘I love strong, independent women.’ But do they really? Maybe they love it from afar.”She continued, “When it comes to actually being with that kind of woman, they can feel intimidated. I’ve had guys who wanted me—and I wanted them too—but it didn’t work out. They ended up with someone less ambitious, less independent.”Summing it up, she said, “Maybe, in the end, they don’t really want someone like me… it’s an ego thing. There are some secure men who get it—but it’s a handful.”
‘I’ve tried toning myself down—but it doesn’t work’
When asked if she has ever tried to make herself “smaller” for a man, Nora admitted, “Maybe in conversations, yes… sometimes I’ve toned it down. And then my real side comes out anyway, and I’m like, ‘Okay, that’s why it didn’t work out.’”She emphasised that the issue goes beyond appearances or success. “People will think, ‘She’s pretty, successful—why would she have issues with men?’ But it has nothing to do with how you look or how much money you make. It’s psychological. It’s a social construct.”“Even if I make myself smaller, if a man doesn’t want someone independent or strong—you can’t change that,” she added.
‘The bar is so low—“he has a job”’
Nora also shared a lighter take on matchmaking pressures. “I have aunties sending me proposals all the time—Moroccan aunties, Indian aunties,” she laughed, adding, “They’ll show me pictures and say, ‘Tell me which one you like.’ I’m like, I can’t do that!”Recalling her mother’s approach, she said, “She’d say, ‘His mom is very nice.’ And I’m like, ‘I’m not marrying his mom!’”She quipped, “The bar is so low sometimes—‘He’s educated, he has a job.’ I’m like, ‘Mama, I have that too. What are we doing here?’”
‘I had a crush just because of height’
Talking about her preferences, Nora admitted, “For the longest time, height was number one. Now it’s… maybe number four. Okay, five!”She even revealed the “wildest” reason she developed a crush. “Their height. Solely their height,” she said.Explaining further, she added, “I’m 5’6” and I love to wear heels. When I see someone tall, I’m like, ‘That’s a man, he’s masculine,’ and my ovaries go into overdrive.”But she quickly added with humour, “Then he opens his mouth and it’s like… yeah, downhill from there.”
‘I can’t ask a man out—fear of rejection’
Despite her confidence, Nora admitted she struggles to make the first move. “I was like, ‘Over my dead body,’” she said when friends suggested she approach men.Revealing the reason, she said, “Fear of rejection. For real. I’ve accepted it—I just cannot.”She recalled a missed opportunity, saying, “There was this one guy I saw and I was like, ‘Oh my God, should I?’ I couldn’t do it. I probably missed out on my soulmate—but I couldn’t.”She signed off on a humorous note: “It’s okay… he was probably 5’9”.”
