Kamal Ghorui
Archana Puran Singh and Parmeet Sethi, who secretly tied the knot in 1992 and welcomed their first son Aaryamann in 1994, have spoken candidly about the rocky early years of their parenthood. In a recent vlog on Archana’s YouTube channel, the couple opened up about how Parmeet was largely “absent” after their first child’s birth, leaving Archana feeling alone and overwhelmed.When Parmeet shared that he had no idea how drastically his life would change after having a child, Archana immediately countered him, asking, “How did your life change? Because for the first few years you were absent.”
‘I was a very bad father’
Parmeet did not shy away from admitting his shortcomings. He confessed that he was “a very bad father” during the initial years of Aaryamann’s life and described his presence as nothing more than a “guest appearance” until the birth of their second son, Ayushmaan.He also revealed that both pregnancies were unplanned, though Archana clarified that she did want a second child. She recalled becoming a mother at 36 and having her second child at 39, calling it “very old for a mother”.Parmeet said his perspective changed during Archana’s second pregnancy, when he noticed Aaryamann sensing a shift in attention.“I saw Aaryamann realising that the conversation had shifted from him to someone else. That’s when I realised that he will not get as much attention, and I decided that I will take him under my wing. That’s when I started spending time with him, playing with him. I became his father in the true sense,” he shared.
‘I was so weak then, and you were missing’
Archana reminded Parmeet that just as he was unaware of what fatherhood entailed, he was equally oblivious to the struggles of a new mother.“Just like you were not aware of what I was going through during my pregnancy, you didn’t pay attention to what a woman goes through after the baby. I was so weak during that time and you were missing,” she said, adding that she would wake up at least six times every night to feed and check on the baby.“I thought, why isn’t Bittu sharing my load? Then you convinced me, ‘What can I do? I can’t feed the baby,’” she recalled.Parmeet acknowledged this bluntly: “I didn’t help you. At least for the first 3 years of Aaryamann’s life, I didn’t help you at all. I just changed his nappy a couple of times, I am admitting it.”Parmeet admitted that he had no understanding of post-partum struggles. Archana added that even she did not fully recognise what she was going through at the time.“But I felt I was alone. I was powering through everything but I was so fragile then,” she said.
Anniversary dinner that exposed deeper cracks
Archana also recalled an incident from their anniversary, when Parmeet got upset after she refused to go out for dinner due to sheer exhaustion.“I remember it was our anniversary and I was putting the children to bed. They were 3-4-5 then. And I was ready to go but I was so sleep deprived because I would feed them, get their homework done, and take care of them. You said the table was reserved and you were so angry with me,” she said.Parmeet remembered that phase as one where Archana repeatedly declined outings with him. “I understand that you wanted to be with the kids but does the husband also exist or not?” he asked, calling it a “balancing act” and admitting, “You didn’t balance it, and that’s a fact.”“It was a very touch and go situation between us,” he added.
‘Motherhood was a bigger responsibility then’
As the discussion continued, Archana questioned why Parmeet could not understand the position she was in while juggling multiple responsibilities.“You yourself said that you didn’t know what fatherhood was so you obviously did not know what motherhood was. You didn’t know what all a mother has to do,” she said, as Parmeet responded, “What about wifehood? You didn’t understand wifehood.” Archana stood her ground, acknowledging that Parmeet may have been hurt, but emphasised that motherhood took precedence at that stage of her life.
