Kamal Ghorui
By Pulkit Sharma
Living in a world where we get frequent, endless smartphone updates about what others are doing is becoming challenging. What we see online is often picture-perfect, grandiose, carefully selected and curated stories of achievement, success, relationships, travel, possessions and wisdom.
Creators of these stories generate these narratives not because they represent the true reality of their lives, but because the main, behind-the-scenes aim of this digital content is to seek attention, admiration, fame, and narcissistic gratification through many clicks, views, likes, shares, and retweets.
But as we browse through these ‘highlight’ pictures, reels and narratives daily, a sense of smallness and worthlessness begins to creep in. We compare our routine lives with the epic fiction we see online and somehow come to believe that, while everyone else is living a substantial life, we are confined to a mundane, meaningless, and mindless existence.
This sense gives rise to a fear of missing out, FOMO, which makes us grossly dissatisfied with who we are, what we possess and whatever we do.
Many people report feeling intense internal pressure to change the course of their lives and a desire to create a reality that outperforms what they see on social media.
Sadly, when this fear of missing out becomes a guiding principle in your life, your focus shifts to ‘reel’ life, and you begin to neglect your real life, relationships, goals, and aspirations.
While getting validation and applause for the life you live can boost your self-esteem, seeking too much attention can lead you into a herd mentality.
You develop an addiction to likes, retweets, and followers, get derailed from your core values and deeper aspirations while chasing the limelight, and end up feeling extremely stressed and exhausted.
You forget what is truly valuable, get into a deadpan existence, and an aura of depression starts haunting you. Therefore, to stay sane, it is crucial to understand and deal with the fear of missing out.
To overcome this fear, take longer breaks from your smartphone and return to self-reflection. Identify what deeply and truly matters to you.
What are your core values, goals, aspirations and potentials. With this self-knowledge, you need to scan all pushes and pulls, cravings and desires which surface in your mind. If you feel that doing something will bring you closer to the realisation of your deeper aspirations, go ahead.
But if you think that what you wish for is frivolous and impulsive and does not align with your true quest, learn to reject it strongly.
When you start living life authentically, the charm of external approval and endorsements fades away. Your mind stops being a puppet whose strings are tied to prevalent trends. You have the freedom to decide how to spend your time, shape your life, and achieve self-growth.
You start to value your uniqueness, your inner beauty, and your precious existence. This gives you a sense of profound calm, freedom and happiness. With this newfound Self-realisation, notifications on your smartphone cease to be anxiety-provoking.
The writer is a clinical psychologist based in Puducherry
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