Kamal Ghorui
Sued for calling a colleague auntie? A UK case calls out casual ageism/sexism at the workplace
In a clash of continents, so to speak, UK’s National Health Service must pay an Indian-origin nurse £1,425, after a Ghanaian-origin younger colleague ignored her repeated requests to stop calling her ‘auntie’. The judge noted the different cultures, and ruled that the complainant’s allegations of harassment, on grounds of age and gender, were legitimate.
No doubt, many Indians are puzzled. What’s wrong with calling someone ‘auntie’? Context and continent. People, globally, can be blissfully, and selectively, oblivious to the social weight, words and titles carry. In India, as in Ghana, auntie is used commonly. It underscores familiarity with older women in family, in social circles and neighbourhoods. But, in India, and also in Ghana, auntie is equally used as an ageist and lookist slight – for women who’d police behaviour and are deemed judgy, for those considered no longer ‘cool or trendy’ and, several other women-centric stereotyping. In UK, familiarity stops when you exit your front door – no one is your auntie, except your aunt. Who would, in fact, likely, be called by name.
That said, it is all in the tone. Across India, ‘auntie’ can also denote a teasing, indulgent regard, for someone who looks out for others, speaks hard truths, is witty and acerbic. It’s a word of substance, with worlds of meanings, that ‘uncle’ can never capture. To be called Whatsapp/ RWA uncle is, ouch!, no compliment – who wants to be the hyperactive, partly retired, fwds-savvy, community vigilante, the smartphone addict, who stands for everything that’s exhausting to the free spirit? But, whatever the context and even, consent, cross-continent commonality is that ‘auntie’ has no place in the workplace. It brings the village to the worksite. In the UK case, ageism and sexism – some will argue it was ‘well-intentioned’ – were evident. The male nurse suggested who his senior would be a “good match for”. It’s a rare woman in India, who hasn’t suffered intrusive commentary on marriage – it’s the first licence to call someone ‘auntie’.
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