Kamal Ghorui
In February 2026, the Bombay High Court ruled that a child raised exclusively by a single mother cannot be forced to carry the father’s surname and caste in official records, emphasising that official documentation should reflect the lived reality of the family rather than outdated patriarchal assumptions. It stirred conversations online, I shared my views as my lived experience and got brutally trolled.
I filed for a mutual divorce in 2021,going through a divorce is never easy. It’s messy, emotional, and often judged by society before you even have a chance to heal and deal with it. My child was merely about 5 years old when I got divorced, I knew I needed to take command of my life to raise my child – not let societal stigma, gossip, or outdated expectations dictate my choices. I wanted to study more, move abroad, and give my child a better life, free from the judgments often attached to single mothers in India. I wanted her to grow up in a world where love, care, and stability mattered more than societal labels.
Yet, almost immediately, I discovered that society has a way of making everything about women’s fault. People assumed that I must have demanded alimony or maintenance, that I was “taking advantage” of the system. The truth is, I asked for none. I chose a mutual divorce for the sake of peace. In fact, I had nothing, my family supported me and I started literally from scratch. My ex-husband gave his consent to the mutual divorce and to everything regarding our child, because he understood this was the least he could do as a father. And yet, online trolls paint women like me as greedy or vengeful. They say women destroy men through alimony and maintenance demands, whereas I have not received a single penny in the name of maintenance till date even after the court order, which is the child’s right and nothing could be further from my truth.
Lastly and perhaps the most controversial choice I made was to give my child my surname. This, more than anything else, triggered anger and rage from strangers online who have no idea of our reality. They assume it was revenge or an attempt to “separate the child from the father.” But let’s be clear: this was never about revenge. Changing a child’s surname is a legal right, and in cases like mine, it is often required when a mother seeks to move abroad for work or education, or to ensure the child’s wellbeing in a family where she is the sole carer.
Today I work full-time and raise my child all by myself and I am not fighting with anyone or separating my child form anyone, there is no father in the picture. I am the sole carer of my child, and every decision I have taken has been in her best interests. The law recognises this, and it recognises that a child’s identity and surname can reflect the reality of her upbringing. Despite this, I continue to face judgement, trolling, and hate from people who have no understanding of our lives. They do not see the sleepless nights, the sacrifices, or the constant effort to protect and nurture a child all by myself, just when they see a single woman who is divorced and has a child they attack brutally.
Through this post, I want to speak assertively: I changed my child’s surname because I am her mother, her primary and only caregiver, and because I wanted her identity to reflect the life we live together. I did not do it for revenge,I did it out of love, responsibility, and a desire to give my child a life free from unnecessary judgment and complications and I will do anything to give her that secure and safe life.
This is part of a broader change in India. Since 2017, women no longer need to change their surname after marriage and the Bombay High Court has affirmed that children raised by single mothers cannot be forced to bear the father’s surname or caste. These legal changes are about acknowledging reality, protecting children, and empowering women who are the sole carers of their families.
So, to the trolls, the critics, and those who assume my choices were anything but what they are, love, care, and responsibility – I say this: your opinions do not define our reality. Our lives, our choices, and our child’s future are ours alone to shape. And we will continue to do so, with pride, strength, and love.
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