Kamal Ghorui
It was just a planned social visit to two houses on a recent weekend. The hosts at the first house insisted, as we gestured to take a leave, that we sit for some time more. It was a simple three-word request that we hear often by many a host, “Kucchh der aur” (a few moments more). I looked at my wife, and she indicated (through her eyes, as always!) that we had a list of chores yet to be completed in the day, besides an already planned visit to the second house.
The hosts were so wonderful people and conversations were so mesmerising that my heart was in a state of profound delight being there. However, the load of the pending work and an impending visit was weighing heavily on my head. The conflict was between the head and the heart. Aah! Even the weekend did not spare this poor soul of the daily dilemma. I was enjoying my time out there, but I also had a heap of pending activities staring at me. It felt like a workday, again…
For a lot of people, during the workdays, the mind struggles, swirls, and shuffles between the busy-ness of work on one side and an intended life on the other side. Various surveys and reports indicate that stress, long working hours, and work-life imbalance are exacerbating mental and physical strain, with nearly 29% of employees in the IT sector reporting a burnout in 2024.While the statistic pertains to a particular industry, there has been an increasing trend of many a folks (qualified as well as well-earning) experiencing a desire to escape the hustle culture and focus on a meaningful life. This movement, known as the “intentional living”, involves taking decisions (including a pause) in life to prioritise meaning and wellbeing over a high-stress work routine. The movement has been gaining a momentum since 2024. Incidentally, the recent revival of the discussions around Right to Disconnect Bill (2025) brings the attention as well as dignity to the personal time of a human being.
Meanwhile, the host looked at me, with sparkling eyes, for a response. Simultaneously, my wife was also looking at me! I kept thinking of words to respond to the three-worded refrain and was weighing how the time would feel here vis a vis at our next stop, and, how my wife would feel after my decision. Life is a decision at every moment. While I was so happy with the present, I did not want to get so immersed in the monotony of life (the pending tasks…) and miss a few ongoing joyful moments! In Scent of a Woman, the Academy Award winner for best acting Al Pacino, portraying as a blind retired Army officer invites Donna, a young woman waiting for her date for a dance. Upon her reply that her date would be arriving in few minutes, the Colonel asserts, famously now, “Life can be lived in an instant.” A spectacular tango followed thereafter on the dance floor.
To me, the tango could have gone either way. Unmindful of my risk, the host offered some more savories and requested, with emphasis now, “kucchh der aur”. I dared to ignore the reproving stare from my wife and picked up a piece out of the tray. Time is a fixed and equal resource for every organism on the planet. However, the value of every moment is different. I was split between the psychological and emotional value of time versus its operational value.
Years ago, at the Houston Airport, passengers were often furious about long waits at the baggage claim. Howsoever best the airport managed the process, the complaints did not stop. On an average, the passengers were experiencing a one-minute walk and a seven-minute wait for the baggage. The airport authorities realised that they could not get the bags out any faster. So, they played with the psychological value of time and did something counter-intuitive. They moved the arrival gates further away. As a result, the passengers had to experience a six-minute walk and only a two-minute wait. The total time of eight minutes remained unchanged. Complaints dropped to almost zero as the experience was completely different. It was evident that time spent in “something for a purpose” was indeed psychologically satisfying!
By now, the decision was clear as a crystal in front of my eyes. And so was my wife!
I do not know when the psychological reality took over the operational reality, and the words, “All right. Kucchh der aur” slipped out of my mouth in response to the host.
My choice – a little daring, though – does not suggest a trend, but it does indicate the need and the intent for reordering of priorities towards a more intentional living. Amidst the maddening horizons of work and more work, it is worthwhile to recall Wordsworth saying, “What is this life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare.”
A spectacular tango did follow thereafter, though not on the dance floor. If I survive, the next blog will appear!
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